Contributed by: András Tóth, Hungary

Definition of ‘fetish’: any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

In the age of super fast and super easy apps for online dating, if you had the chance to describe yourself in a few sentences, how would you? Would you talk about your passions, goals and hopes, or dish out a witty line suggesting there’s more in your brain, maybe even a quote subtly telling us you don’t have original thoughts of your own, or…

So unfortunate… These women identify with their height…

Yes. Your height. With that you’re basically telling me that after your 20- or 30-something years all you have to show for is your height. Is it an achievement on which you have worked night and day? Many parts of the body can be shaped or reshaped, even if you were unlucky with your DNA… But your height unfortunately isn’t one of these parts, sorry.

Apart from giving the impression of a total lack of remotely any exciting mental abilities, what these people also miss that after you have been matched, he (even after all these years of feminism, most of the time it will still be a he and not a she 😦 ) could base his first question on your introduction. If you provided your height, a possible conversation could look like this:

Nancy (27 173/63), Li (30 170/65):

Li: Hi Nancy! Glad to meet you!
Nancy: Hi Li!
Li: Are you really 173 tall?
Nancy: Yes.
Li: Good.
Nancy: And you are only 170?
Li: Yes.
Nancy: 😦 So sad. Now I will unmatch you.

OK, I know it’s a dealbreaker for some people, but can I ask what function does height in sex have? The answer would be ‘no function’, unless it is a fetish: like the one when you can’t be aroused if your partner doesn’t wear high heels. What’s the difference?

The first line says in Hungarian: “Don’t try it below 178cm!”

The other thing I cannot understand about height nazis, is that what would happen if their partner would stand on a step below them on the escalator? Instant loss of interest? Or would I get instant respect and arousal if I get a box to stand on? Or can I “hack” your fetish with wearing stilts or an overly large/ high shoe?

Can you imagine? People wore these in Hungary in the 90s during the techno era.

Yeah, I’m not dumb – I know it’s about what others will think about the relationship if your man is shorter… I’ll tell you what they’d think: “Wow, what can this little guy possibly know about sex?”.

Wouldn’t it be a great indirect compliment? 😉

Personally I have a list that goes before actual parameters: her sexual impact, if we are on the same wavelength relating to humor, intellect, lightness of heart, honesty, dignity, respect, fun, energy…

Let’s perhaps look at a good example, where I can assume that neither she, nor I are interested in each others’ height:

I will love you if you don’t kill me with your dog! I promise!